We all want to make friends in hostels, and this is easier for some people than others. If you are one of those people that have trouble making friends easily, here is a list of things you can do that will help you be an awesome roommate and make people like you.
Or I’m totally lying….
1. Pack enough clothes so you can wear two outfits a day for the next 3 months; without ever wearing the same thing twice.
Unpack every item of said clothes so you can put 5 sweaters in the locker that’s big enough to hold a 60mil bag plus. Keep actual bag and other items all over the dorm floor. This will keep your roommate from having to step on the cold floor in the morning…and promote metal and physical dexterity trying to not trip over your stuff first thing in the morning.
2. Place dirty clothes, shower stuff, and wet towel on your lower bunkmates bed.
This will announce that you are no longer the smelly one to your bunkmate, as well as remind them the importance of cleanliness.
3. Use lower bunkmates bed as storage for your fresh laundry.
Strew items carefully all over lower bunkmate’s bed, making sure to place your clothes on top of your bunkmate’s things that are already on the bed.
4. Stumble around room wasted drunk.
Then make sure your roommate – who is sleeping on the total opposite end of the room from you – doesn’t miss the beautiful sunrise by waking them up the following way:
Run into sleeping roommate’s bed, stand over them like a creepy person, then serenade them with the sound of pouring liquids on the floor.
(Luckily and contrary to first thought, drunk roommate was not actually peeing on floor, he just missed his mouth or something while trying to drink water standing above my sleeping body).
When said sleeping roommate jumps up, freaked out, and flips on light…stumble back to your own bed and pass out stone cold, face first into the mattress. Said sleeping roommate will be awake to see the beautiful sunrise. I promise.
5. Play “What Have I Taken?”.
Its a friendly little game for your roommate to play… alone…when they go to pack their stuff a week after you leave, or when they come back to the hostel after a night with their friend to find $30 worth of spices stolen(seriously, why would you want to travel with open spices anyway?) .
6. After showering, stand in middle of bathroom floor and shake off excess water like a dog.
Not only do you dry off, you clean the entire bathroom and floor with said excess water, and facilitate clothes washing when the next person comes in the bathroom
A. in their socks
B. puts their clean clothes (to change onto after shower) on the floor, or bathroom sink, not realizing you just hosed it down with your excess body water.
Its always good to help your roommates clean their own clean clothes.
7. Leave giant balls of hair in the shower.
Its always wonderful to announce to your hostel-mates your freshly shaven body, maturing manhood, or newly cleaned hairbrush, by leaving little gifts of giant hairballs to clog the drain. These wads of unknown origin are also great gifts for those of us that like to make dolls out of hair.
8. Hit on the people in your dorm room.
This breaks the ice and eases tension when you overtly try to hookup with the only girl/boy in the room. If this person ignores you or seems disinterested, woo them with stories of your boy/girlfriend you have back home, and how awesome they are to you. Portraying yourself as a lying, cheating bastard is a fool-proof way to make friends.
9. When you are part of a large group, which is split between 2 dorm rooms, run into the other dorm room at 7am screaming “BUENOS DIAS!” to your friends.
Even better, if everyone in YOUR room goes into friend’s OTHER room ONE AT A TIME, each screaming “BUENOS DIAS” every 30 seconds. The other people also staying in your friend’s room, who are not part of your group, will appreciate the 7am early morning wakeup call. Especially if they didn’t get home from photographing a rock show until 4am.
10. Use every dish in the hostel to make dinner, then leave them filthy dirty in the sink, with no intention of returning to them.
It’s totally cool to leave burnt on, greasy messes in every pot and pan in the hostel, then just leave them and never return. You are just helping your hostel-mates watch their weight. Not only is scrubbing burnt on rice aerobic, some people will just opt out of cooking that high calorie meal, and grab some healthier fruit. Still yet, many others will decide to just go eat out down the street, thus helping promote tourism and the local economy. Really, its kind of like charity. You are helping other’s give back (their hard earned money) to local restaurants and street vendors. SO DIRTY UP THOSE DISHES! Besides, you are also giving the cleaning lady job security.